TEN THINGS WE LEARNED AT PARIS FASHION WEEK

. Kate Moss can still light up a catwalk.
Oooo she was smoking. Oooo she's such a bad girl. Oooo isn't she naughty? We imagine a gaggle of fashion press, whispering to each other, hands over their mouths in self-righteous horror at Moss casually puffing away at a ciggie on National No Smoking Day. She gets the last laugh though as she racks up column inches (probably better measured in metres these days).

2. Fetish-wear is fine.
Maid's uniforms, bags handcuffed to models' wrists, PVC corsets and slicked back hair; the only thing missing from Marc Jacobs' runway of iniquity was actual sex. Meanwhile over at Ungaro, Giles Deacon had models wearing neck-corsets, with the explanation, "The history of pleasure is part of a night time world ... underneath a corseted and waist-cinched exterior, a primeval sexual interior is waiting to get out".
Sadly, our primeval sexual interior just wants a cup of tea and a good night's sleep.

3. Bomber jackets are back.
We've already seen a preponderance of varsity jackets as part of the collegiate trend that's been around a while. Now it seems it is time to look back to the 90s when East 17 were in the charts and Brian Harvey's black shiny jacket was the height of sophisticated schoolyard style. You know the ones we mean. They had tight, ribbed wrists, and waists, and often came with a lining in a shade of vomit-inducing orange. Adorning them were various non-PC cartoon characters such as 'Dreddy' or 'Spliffy'. This time round they come with a better quality of embroidery. Givenchy's for instance, were covered with irises or panthers.

4. There's still magic in fashion.
Manish Arora brought out a Russian illusionist who performed astonishing feats on his catwalk.

5. Lady Gaga makes a good model.
Walking for the Mugler show, Gaga was a roaring success, with creative director Nicola Formicetti announcing to the Times that, "She was better than all the other girls." A nice outcome for Gaga who, the night before the show, tweeted, "so excited I might give birth to a machine gun". Ouch.